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Eating this....cuz I ate that....

Just a quick little something....

My weekend/week so far has not been great.  At lunch today, I planned for a salad.  I had brought all the fixings for a delicious salad...but when lunchtime came I ate boiled egg and went to the mall to return a top that was sitting in my car.  Now...I'm at the mall on what should be just a quick in and out, but all I could think about was how wonderful some yogurt from You Say When would taste...

I did what any (most) girl would do when she was having a bad week....

I got the yogurt! And it was HEAVEN!

So...when I got hungry for some real food in the afternoon, I went with a better, healthier choice.  And it was still delish!!!! Raw veggies, boiled eggs and balsamic spritzer...yum!

Issues

Not really sure what is going on with me....but I'm working on fixing it! I'll be back packing on some miles soon. Working two jobs, trying to train for my first full marathon and my third half marathon (the half is in less than 3 weeks), spend time with my husband (forget about friends at this point) and try to clean and do laundry...I'm overwhelmed with it all at the moment.  Must prioritize better!!!!

Ok...done whining!

Sometime life gets in the way of our plans and we just have to adjust.  I'm working on that process now!

The Massage!

I purchased two massages back in April through a Groupon.  They were about to expire the end of the month.  Why I waited all this time to actually use them is beyond me, but they needed to be used or lost!  They were for two 50 minute relaxation massages.  The hubs and I met at the shop after work and I think he was looking forward to it as much as I was.  When they called us back, I got the younger, fit looking girl.  The hubs got the older, plump woman.  Works for me...

I got in the room, stripped to my undies (I brought full-butt boy shorts for the occasion) and got ready to be fully relaxed.  Well, although I was fully relaxed and the massage was "nice", I felt like I was in a constant state of wanting just a little more.  I guess I could have asked for more pressure but since the Groupon was for a relaxation massage, I didn't want to break the rules but asking for deep tissue.  It was nice.  That's it...just nice. Funny thing though during the massage...I have some stinky feet.  I'll admit it.  Along with what you may have learned yesterday about my feet they also smell.  My brother-in-law likes to say it's a family thing since apparently my sister suffers from the same stank feet.  Whatev!  It doesn't matter what I do, they tend to smell and especially if I have worn shoes with no socks.  Which brings me back to my story....I had in fact worn these cute little shoes that day...no socks (read: confined sweaty feet).  I was so relaxed, but as the therapist started working her way to my feet, I started to get a little nervous...."would she touch them", "are feet included in this massage", "do they still smell", etc.  Well, something worse happened.  As she began to massage my shin/calf, she bent my knee and braced my leg against herself.  Now, I am face down on a table...I have no idea where she braced it, but I am fairly certain that it was up against the front of her shoulder...with my ankle about ear level....that poor chick was just breathing in the sweaty grossness of my toes.  I wanted to laugh so bad, but didn't dare...my calf needed the attention so I didn't want to give her an excuse to quit early.  And...in the end...she did massage my feet and it was wonderful.  I'm glad that was the last thing she did though...I wouldn't want her touching me anywhere else after having her hands on those babies!

All in all I was happy with my experience.  For what I paid vs. what I received, it was a great deal.  Now...the Hubs? He got an amazing deal.  I was done, dressed, sipping water in the relaxation room for almost 20 minutes before he came out!!! We both went back at the same time too....so not fair.  He said that the lady was huffing and puffing from the very beginning and told him he was so tense she was going to have to do deep tissue just to loosen him up to be able to work on him.  So he not only got a longer massage but a deep tissue at that! He deserves it though and I'm so glad he had a good therapist and a wonderful experience.

We followed up our massages with a fantastic sushi dinner at Bonsai.  It was wonderful.  We love eating there but usually spend so much money that we save it for special occasions.  Well since we are trying to be a little more frugal these days, we opted to alter our "usual" selections for some less expensive ones.  We seem to like all the "special" rolls that are in the $10 -$12 range.  So we picked 4 different options in the $5 -$7 range and although they were NOT as good as our usual faves, they were still delish and we were thankful we got a sushi date AND watched our spending.  If you ever get a chance to visit Bonsai in Wesley Chapel, here are a few of my faves I recommend: Sexy Man, Crispy, Waikiki, Volcano. Done! 

Now...I know I said yesterday that I was going to run last night....that didn't happen.  I am so mad at myself too! I did so great the first week and now this week is shot to...well you get it.  This weekend is going to be a planning weekend for me...outfits, lunches, gym bag....so that I stick with it next week.  Gym in the AM: Monday and Wednesday! That means out the door by 4:40 AM (shoot me now).  Check back to keep me accountable on that one!

I work all weekend at my part time job...lets hope people are out spending money and tipping their servers well!!! I am taking my little sister to a fall festival on Saturday and I'm really looking forward to that.  It's at a horse farm and I LOVE horses (had one growing up...case you didn't know).  There will be hay rides, games, petting zoo, pony rides, costume contests and CANDY!

Thursday Latelies...I'm joining the fun!

I keep seeing some of my favorite blogs doing the "Thursday Latelies" and I decided to join in this week...even though my ugly mug will NOT be doing it as a video like some of my faves do (bex and jill). Thursday Latelies is just listing some things that you are currently loving or thankful for...so here is my list! Don't judge me...it's my first time!

My number 1 will have to be running.  I love to run...even though I may have a miserable run here and there, I still love it.  I love pushing myself and the satisfaction I feel at the end of a run.  I'm also a total sap at times and get a little emotional while running. I try to use my running time to talk with the Lord and sometimes I am just overwhelmed with thankfulness that I have the ability to run. I may never achieve the speed I want (or once had) and I may never place in a marathon, half or even a 5k, but I can run.  I have the God given ability to run and I am so thankful and humbled when I think of all the people that cannot, whether from physical disability or health reasons.  Silly, I know...but I am also the same girl who will most likely tear up when I cross a finish line, no matter how well I did.  I just get such a sense of accomplishment and often get overcome by the emotion of it....such a softie I know...don't give me that look!  

Adding to my thankfulness and love for running is this super, awesome giveaway by Tips 4 Running.  Go check out the page AND the giveaway! Those Saucony's look and sound awesome and I for one would love to win a pair.  I have my next half marathon in 24 days (here) AND my first FULL marathon in February (here) and I would love to be sporting a pair of these new Saucony's.  

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These are the ones I want!!!

Next, I am thankful for the little old man in Walmart that either just needed someone to talk to or truly got a look at my gross feet....yeah, he just needed someone to talk to, we'll go with that.  I purchased this:

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I admit it...I have nasty feet.  Part of it is that I am lazy and don't use that pumice scrubber enough on them and I'm too cheap to get regular pedi's so my heals pretty much stay dry, cracked and gross.  I will buy stuff and then never stick with putting it on regularly.  But for $5.94 I got this tub of Heel Rescue that the sweetest little old man told me was guaranteed to work (I also heard how bad his feet are and that you must be faithful for this to work...he was adorable).  I'm all for a guaranty...so I bought it.  I have only used it twice but it did feel fabulous and not super greasy either...I'll keep you posted on my progress!  Don't get your hopes up though...there will probably NOT be pics EVA of my feet on here!  I think I should have listened to my mom growing up when she constantly yelled at me to put shoes on, although she always told me I would get worms if I didn't quit running barefoot in the barn with Rusty (my best friend and quarter horse) and I never did.  I'm probably just paying now as an adult with gross feet!

Next up is this fabulous little gem I discovered: Organix Renewing Moroccan Argan Penetrating oil! LOVING it!  I have pretty healthy hair on my own, but with my highlighting, coloring, flat ironing my curls into straight submission...I wanted to use something to help it out and keep it healthy.  This stuff is fabulous! It smells great, and gives my hair such softness and shine....love it!

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Next up: Nail Life! I have pretty healthy nails, but if I neglect them I'll get the typical peeling that can occur. Years ago, a girl I worked with told me about this stuff.  She had the strongest, most beautiful natural nails ever! She swore by this stuff, so I bought some and have never been without a bottle in my house since.  It really does give you strong, healthy nails!

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Last up is my new Stella & Dot, Snake Orb Pendant Necklace! Just got it in last night and love, love, love it!!!!  Thanks to Skinny Runner for this post I got it on sale (super amazing steal) and I am so excited about it. Of course I am wearing it today and posing for super gooberish pics, but hey, new jewelry makes me silly giddy!

 

So fun! Go check out Stella & Dot!

So that is it for me...guess I have a lot that I am loving and thankful for today.  Believe me, there are a ton more that I am thankful for, but for today, this is a fun list!

OH WAIT!!!! One more thing....I'm super excited and happy that the hubs and I are getting massages together after work today! I will post about that tomorrow and all the awesome deliciousness that I'm sure it will be!

Ok...one more thing....I am still working out...but this week kind of got away from me.  I took yesterday (yes I remember that I took Monday off too) off...dumb, but I had so much to do.  I will be running tonight (even though I'm sure I won't want to after my massage and dinner with the hubs).  

Rain, rain, go away...

Tonight was supposed to be track work with my tri team (here) but the rain put an end to that.  As much as I hate track work it does really help..but it was kind of nice to just go hand out with everyone for Taco Tuesday instead!

So that I felt like I did something...I did a quick leg series before taking a nice bath with a good book.  Here is what I did:
25 squats
10 lunges (each leg)
15 calf raises (each leg)
15 squats with side leg raise
Repeat 2x

Really sad...but felt good and I'm counting it as "something" active. 

Weekend Recap

I know I said I was going to give myself Friday of....but I didn't.  I'm STILL sore from that workout...good sore though.  I didn't have to be at work on Friday until 6, and since my boss is the BOMB and lets me off at 3 on Fridays (and pays me to 4), I had time when I got home to workout.  I took full advantage and got in a weights workout at the house.  I did shoulders/chest/abs.  Great workout!

I took Saturday off and slept in with the hubs and then went to breakfast before work.  After work the hubs and I watched our friend and his band play and met up with some friends for some food and spirits at Primebar.  Brass Tap was having an Octoberfest street party event so we sat outside and watched a little football (Poor Florida...) and did some people watching. It was beautiful outside! I was in shorts and a little top and was wishing I had a jacket....the weather was awesome!

The hubs and I listening to some music!

On Sunday, the hubs went to ride his dirtbike with his dad so I had the morning to myself before work.  I decided to test out running on an empty stomach.  I planned on a 5 mile run and since I didn't get started until after 9:30 I decided I would take my fuel/hydration belt.  I hate wearing it but know that I need to so I got everything ready and headed out by 9:40 AM.  It was a beautiful morning but still got really hot even at that time!  I learned a few things on this run.

1.   I do really well running in the morning on an empty stomach.

2.   I cannot forget to take my beta blocker...if I do then I will pay during a run.

3.   Remembering to take a gel mid-run really will help!

New running gear!

I ran a total of 5.42 miles in 59:25.  For me, that was a very good run and much faster than my runs have been lately, especially being that it was longer than the others and still faster.  Strange, but I def think it has to do with running early.  It is so hard for me to work all day and then try to come home and get a good run in.  I really need to start going to bed early so that I can get up in the morning to run.  I just HATE that will mean getting up at 4 AM to run...ugh!  Anyway...back to Sunday's run.  At about mile 2 I was feeling good and plugging right along and I glanced at my HR....it was at 188! Oops! Up to this point I was doing a run 1 mile/walk 1 minute split and was just under a 10:00/min mile pace.  I usually do a 5 minute/30 second split but changed it up for this run since I felt so good.  Well, I realized that I had forgotten to take my beta blocker on Saturday, which I think is what was causing my super elevated HR.  Normally, when I take my meds daily, I won't get over 168, even if I'm running a fast pace.  I felt fine though and didn't want to start making more stops, but as I neared mile 3, my HR had climbed to 193.  I decided it would be wise for me to get my HR down, so at mile 3, I stopped running and walked for 4 minutes and got it down to 160 before I started running again.  I also took a Hammer gel at mile 3.  It took almost a mile for me to really feel the effect of the gel but man did I.  I probably could have run a few more miles...I felt that good.  Had to get to work though.  All in all....fantastic run...even with the HR issues.  

Run is done!!! Felt awesome!

Wow....what a super long and boring post...sorry! But it helps me to get this all down and keep myself accountable.  Super happy with this week....only took one day off and got some miles in.  My goal for this next week will be to get in a few more miles and have a longer run.  Less than 4 weeks to my half marathon...and I want to be ready on race morning!

Running, sweaty bands and hair!

I am really proud of myself that I actually got this run in...not proud that it was only about 4 miles.  Oh well.  The hubs wanted to go out to dinner since I work Friday night and we won't be able to do date night.  He knew I wanted to get my run in so he relented and said we could go late....such a doll! Total run was 3.92 in 43:06.

I like the route I planned because there is really no changing your mind and shortening the run once you get about a mile in so I knew I would get my miles in.  But halfway through I was just dying...no clue why.  I pushed through though and the last half was much better.  I actually enjoyed the last half.  Except for the gnats...ugh.  I swear I get a head start on my muscle recovery eating by the amount of gnats I probably consume during my evening runs...so gross! And when I get back and look in the mirror they are stuck all over my face, arms...it really is disgusting.  I told the hubs I was going to start wearing my hunting fly cover face thing for my runs to avoid eating the gnats....I'll be sure to take a picture of THAT for you to see.

On to the good stuff: sweaty bands!  I am totally in love with SkinnyRunner (you should totally check out her blog...she is hilarious, a fantastic runner, beautiful, a Christian and you will be addicted too) and I found out about Sweaty Bands through her blog.  I have NEVER been able to find a band that stays put.  I don't know if its my hair or the shape of my head but they never stay and I wish they would.  I hate taking my rubber band out a million times to re-do my ponytail to fix all the flyaways.  So I thought I would give these a try and I am so glad I did!!! Truly they do not slip.  I used it for the first time on my run last night and it didn't move...it was wonderful!!! And they have a million styles and sizes to pick from.  I just bought one to try since there was no point getting more if they didn't stay on my head.  Of course I bought one that says 13.1 since I'm training for another half.  But I cannot wait to go order more now. Check out the site and order some....they are super cute and you won't be disappointed in how they "stick"!

Here is mine!

I took a picture of me post run with it still in place...but I will admit that I am way too vain to put it up.  I was still a gross, sweaty mess so you will NOT be seeing that picture...but I promise...it was still holding strong!

Next up: new hair!  Wow....I wasn't really sure HOW dark I was going and thankful its not the permanent stuff.  I say thankfully because I'm not sure the hubs loves/likes it.  When I washed my hair and got out of the shower I was like....oh boy! But today, after straightening it and constantly checking myself out in the mirror, it is really growing on me.  I know if will fade some and I think I will like it even more once it does...and I think I will like it this dark minus the red.  So my final say is: good decision.  Its fun for fall and I hurt no one (animals included) in the process.  The hubs will get use to it (I hope).

I love Fridays! My recap of the week: I'm happy that I have worked out 4 days and although I will probably not get a workout in today, I am okay with that.  I will let today be my "off" day.  I have to work at my part-time job tonight and I won't be home until LATE so there will be no evening run.  Tomorrow I am going to get a long run in the morning and then check out a friends new Crossfit Grand Opening.  I don't think I'll get to do their WOD since I have to work at 11:00 AM but I can at least go and check it out.  I am really ready for the weekend!

Biking with the Hubs

When given the choice of working out alone or working out with my husband, I will always choose him.  Even if it wasn't the workout that I had planned for that day.  He's just fun to be with and hey, a workout is a workout when it comes to spending time with my man.  So yesterday when he told me that he was going to go ride "about 18 miles" and that I was welcome to come with, I of course switched my plans from weights at the gym to cycling with him.  He only recently bought a road bike and I really never thought he would do it, but he did and he's good!  I know the only reason he enjoys the trail we go to is because he feels like he is "in the woods" and he always gets to see deer.  You see my husband is quite the hunter and LOVES being in the woods, seeing deer, talking about hunting, watching hunting shows (oh Lee and Tiffany), you get the idea.

The loop we do is about a 13 mile loop all together, it's an out and back with a few little side roads we shoot down.  We went early to be sure we got at least 18 miles in before dark.  We keep track of how many deer we see on the ride and its funny when we come back through a spot and see some in the same area...they cannot be counted in case they are the same deer...must keep accurate accounting of the animals! Its funny, but it helps pass the time searching for who can spot the most.  We also like to spot the pygmy rattlesnakes along the way.  They seem to be out in full force lately...sunning themselves on the trail.  The last time there were TONS on the trail.  Just a little advice I was given...even if you feel you need to run them over....DON'T! You never know when one of those suckers will fling up and bite you....just saying.  A guy I ride with had one fling up and bite his shoe and then hang on for a little bit...he about soiled his pants trying not to crash and unclip to get the sucker off....just some friendly advice.

Overall last night we saw 60 deer, only 3 pygmy's (which are getting bigger from previous rides...ugh) and a goat.  Yes, I said a goat.  He lives out off one of the side roads and we see fellow cyclists stop to feed him from time to time.  He is quite friendly and if you talk to him as you come up he loves to run out to see you.  The first time my husband saw him he was afraid he was going to come out and ram him.  I guess he was looking for his snack and got a little too close to the hubs.  He is black and orange and only has half a little horn on one side...kinda sad looking but cute nonetheless.  We ended up doing 20.86 miles and rode for an hour and 22 minutes.  Good ride and quality time with the hubs....score! Even better that I burned over 1200 calories!

Lunchtime running in Florida = bad idea!

     Today I decided to run during my lunch break.  Yesterday marked the beginning of a 3 month challenge I started for myself.  I’m keeping track of what I eat, my workouts, etc. and my goal is to lose 20 pounds, improve my run times and tone up.  I’m going to blog about my progress in the hopes that it will keep me accountable.  Not that anyone actually reads my blog except maybe my mom and cousin…but it will help me so I’m doing it!

     Florida is hot…duh! Not really sure why I thought running at 12:30 p.m. during my lunch break in October was a bright idea, but whatev.  It was HOT….I gave myself 35 minutes to run.  That gave me time to change and then time for cooling down and cleaning up before I had to go back into work.  I should have known things were not going to turn out well when I went to start and my Garmin (I use the forerunner 305) flashed battery low (I let a friend borrow it and didn't charge it…ugh!).  But it started up once I cleared the low battery and I was off.  I felt good and was proud of myself for getting out and being active during lunch so I was starting off at a good pace.  I hadn't mapped out where I was running but there is a nice little neighborhood a quarter of a mile down from my office that I figured I would just circle through.  I was pushing myself and well on my way to an 8:30/mile when my Garmin died….7:30 into my run! Not sure why…but that killed my mood.  I hate running without my Garmin!  I kept going but after another 10 minutes I was POURING sweat and was so freaking hot.  I just kept thinking about having to go back to the office and take a washcloth bath in the sink in the public bathroom so that I could go back to the office….it was not looking pretty. 

     I only ended up doing 2.5 miles and only ran for 24 minutes when I had allotted myself 35 minutes…the Garmin died though and I didn’t want to be late so I just came back and when I saw my time, I figured I would use the extra time to cool down and clean up.  Boy was that a good decision.  I walked the shade of my building for about 10 minutes and then headed in to clean up…still sweating like crazy.  I normally wouldn’t have even considered doing something like this at lunch but since I didn't get up that morning to go to the gym like I was supposed to, I was making myself do this at lunch.  I got to the bathroom and stripped to my sports bra and spandex shorts and took a poor man’s bath in the sink with a washcloth and soap…praying the whole time no one would walk in on me! Thankfully no one did and I was able to clean up and get dressed but could NOT cool down…sweat was still pouring off me.

     Lesson learned…lunch time in Florida at these temperatures is NOT the time to run.  But, that being said, I felt so good the rest of the afternoon.  When normally I would be feeling sluggish instead I felt fresh (minus the drying sweat) and alert.  So, yes I should do something active during lunch every day but no, it should not be running in the heat!

So I'm all about reading blogs these days. I have a few that I DO NOT MISS but the list keeps getting bigger and bigger. I never really think about anyone reading mine because in my mind that isn't what I use it for. I use it kind of as a way to vent...get my thoughts OUT of my head in the hopes that I will stop dwelling on them. Pity party for one in my head is not fun. But I'm so bad about updating it!!! I think all of two people read it anyway but I still enjoy just getting my thoughts out. I started the blog to keep friends and family up to date on our fertility process but I think it kind of morphed into something else...what I'm not sure yet.

Anyway...I still want to use it for what it originated for so here are some current stats on where we stand:

1) The tea is over for now. I gave it a shot for three months and I just can't do it anymore. I think it messed with my balance anyway. Yes it helped some things with my cycle...not to be too graphic but it did improve the "quality" of my menses, helped with cramps, shortened the duration of my period BUT I was crazy on it. Seriously...I didn't even recognize myself. I was feeling very crazy...too emotional...almost borderline irrational about things and I couldn't get over it. Well, once the tea was done, miraculously a month later I feel completely back to normal...like someone flipped the crazy switch off or something. I like feeling normal again!

2) I'm still working on eating healthier and have started really working on my fruit/veggie intake. I'm even taking supreme greens supplements....love them! I'm still training with my triathlon team (more to come on that though) and just trying to get some more sleep. I think all these things can only help me in the baby making process.

3) No plans for any treatments any time soon. I've been praying about it and we just are not in a financial position to go into EVEN MORE debt at this time. I just don't feel it would be prudent right now. I would LOVE to be able to afford to start IVF, but unless that money tree I planted starts growing or I win the lottery (need to start playing) then its not an option right now. Which leads me to something I read on a blog I stumbled across today. Here is a direct quote from her blog entry:

"Time means something with infertility — both in the physical sense of success rates and the emotional sense of peace of heart. What is worth more — being mindful of time but spending more than you can afford, or sacrificing some time in order to make fertility treatments affordable?" (read here)

Wow...now that is something to ponder!!! I had already been working on this blog entry when I read that. It made me really FEEL my 32 years and think...am I wasting my eggs by waiting? Is there going to ever be a "right" time financially (probably not)? Ugh...this whole infertility stuff sucks!

So.....I got a part time job as a server. My life is going to be crazy! 40 hour full time job for my attorney....part time server (20 hours a week)...wife....friend....running....biking....swimming...wait...didn't I say earlier that I was going to be getting more sleep?

I feel like I need to make some sacrifices NOW so that maybe I can shoot to be in a position to work on number 3 above. Obviously the hubs and I still work on TTC the old fashion way, and I still pray that the Lord blesses us that way. But if that isn't the plan, and we need to move to IVF, well this chick needs some more $$$$!

The Wilder Fertility Fund is still around and accepting donations but I'm just not pushing things with it right now. Everyone is struggling these days so I'm not out begging people to fund my fertility treatments. If someone feels led to give, awesome. We are appreciative and so humbled by the generosity, but I'm not ready to go stand in front of Publix with a sign saying, "Please help fund my IVF"....yet. =)

Waiting is over - we move forward

It would be silly to think that one month of the "tea" was going to work, but my heart is silly a times. This month was challenging, interesting, at times miserable and did not bring about conception. So, we move on. Romans 15:13 says "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit". It is not easy to remain hopeful, but I try my best and seek the Lord's strength when the sadness tries to overcome me.

The only thing I can tell you for SURE the tea did for me this month was a) gross me out every time I drank it, and b) cause my face to break out so bad I look like a 13 year old going through puberty! Man oh man it is terrible!!! Nothing I do clears up my face and it's really gross!!! I am so careful with my face....I NEVER go to bed with makeup on and when I come home from work everyday, one of the very first things I do is wash the makeup off my face. So you can imagine how traumatic it seems for me to feel so out of control with this!!! I took a few days off from the "tea" as I got closer to the end of this cycle just to test out whether that was the actual cause or if it could possibly just be from stress. Well the face started clearing up so I know its the tea.

I know that I can let go of my vanity enough to suffer through some terrible skin condition for a time if the end result is conception, which is the ultimate goal anyway. But, just to be sure that I'm not having some type of harmful reaction to the tea, I've brought it up AGAIN to the doctor to make sure he is comfortable with me continuing on the tea. I will not enjoy having skin issues on my face but if it is a unpleasant side effect that I must endure in order to conceive, well then I will just apologize now for how I must look. =)

Waiting

With the completion of my first month of my new baby making regiment comes.....waiting. Will this be the month? Will I have to take the tea for another month? I like to say I have patience....but not this month!

A boy and his KTM

Totally off from the "baby making" stuff, just wanted to give an update on Craig. He finished out his FTR season with a 4th place overall finish. He was moved up halfway through the season from the B class to the A class. He was kind of bummed about this since he was well on his way to winning the season for the B class. But he accumulated too many points before the season halfway point and they moved him up. And to be completely honest, his times are fast enough that he really should have been moved up. That doesn't change how disappointed he was since moving into the faster class would mean no more championship.

I was beyond impressed with how well he did in the A class and he improved every week. He really enjoyed the season and is on fire to train and get stronger and faster for next season. I'm happy as long as he finishes each race in the same condition as he was at the start. No injuries makes this girl smile...a top 5 finish doesn't hurt either! So proud of my boy and can't wait to see how he does next season!

The "TEA"

Ok....the tea. Where do I begin? I guess I will start by saying that Dr. Zoll did warn me that it will be bitter and will not taste very good. He said that he does have patients that by the end of the first month taking it they said they don't mind the taste anymore. I was prepared for bitter, not pleasant to the palate...I was not prepared for the most vile thing I have ever put in my mouth!!! Ew! There just really are no words for how gross it is. I wish I could give out shots of it to everyone so that you can truly taste my pain with me.

I got the tea and on my designated start date got all prepared to take it. I warmed it up by placing it in hot water for 5 minutes. I put it in a cute little tea cup. My first reaction was that it looked "think" and smelled rancid. I kept trying to figure out what "herbs" I was smelling. I thought, no biggie, it's like 6 oz., I can do this. Oh my word...first sip (and I did take a tiny sip to start) was nasty. I took another tiny sip....just as gross. I thought well we better get on with this or I'll never get it all down. I took a huge drink....at this point my throat closed up on me and the tea went no where...just sat in my mouth, making my eyes water and burn and making me want to vomit. I finally swallowed but it immediately started coming back up. Lord only knows how I got that cup down. I gagged after every swallow. Now I like to think I'm a fairly intelligent person but why I didn't think to simply down it in one breath is beyond me. I was seriously wondering how I was going to get this down twice a day for 30 days.

The second attempt at drinking the tea was no better. I started plugging my nose for the swallow, but as soon as you breathe you taste it so that was really a stupid plan. The third time I took it, I thought...I'm going to take my time. I made a bath, lit some candles, got my book and some water and took my tea to the bath. I thought I would just sit there and relax and sip my tea.

Again, not smart idea. Relaxing did nothing for the taste...I gagged after every sip....Craig is laughing from the other room because he can hear me violently gagging while I "relax" in the tub. On the third sip, I proceeded to vomit into the tub....GROSS. I couldn't get out fast enough but it didn't matter, I now smelled like vomit. So far this tea is WINNING and I am a huge loser!

Thanks to all of my wonderful FB friends I was given several things to "try" to help me get the tea down. I used all of them....coated my mouth with peanut butter, followed with crackers, chocolate, chewed Big Red gum first. Yes they helped me get it down but I finally realized that for me, the gagging became mental. The only way I was assured to get it all down and keep it down was to shoot it. So thank you Erica for pushing me and making me try it because that is how I am now onto day 22 of my tea. I heat it up, plug my nose, drink it in one breath and chase it with water before I breathe again. Yes it still is the most vile thing ever and no I will not be one of those women who tells Dr. Zoll that I didn't mind it so much by the end, but at least I get it down and it stays down and shooting makes it like pulling off a bandaid....quick but certainly not painless.

I take the tea twice a day, DHEA, CO Q10, melatonin, Renshenfengwangjiang (ginseng and royal jelly in a honey base...mixed with water...it's not bad) and it's a chore....BUT, if it works, then it will all be worth it AND I'll have great stories for my child about what I did for him or her (or both...lol). In case anyone is interested in what exactly is in my tea, I posted the ingredients below!

Liquid decoction: Herbal formula

Wu Zhu 5 g

Dang Qui 10 g

Chuan Xiong 10 g

Bai Shao 10 g

Tu Si Zi 10

Bi Ji Tian 10

Ren Shen 10 g

Gui Zhi 10 g

E Jiao 10 g

Mu Dan Pi 10 g

Shen Jiang 15 g

Gan Cao 6 g

Ban Xiao 10 g

Mu Dan Pi 10 g

A Gift from The Lord

It's been awhile since I did an update and there is so much to share. I will try to touch on everything that has happened.

First, I found a doctor in Boca Raton, Florida that specializes in Chinese medicine and acupuncture. I originally called to obtain two free books he lists on his website he will send if you call and request them. When I called, the lady who answered placed me on hold and next thing I know, I hear "This is Dr. Zoll, how can I help you". Well needless to say I was initially taken aback...I wasn't sure what to say and kind of stammered around for a second...awkward! I finally was able to spit out why I was calling and he said he wanted me to tell him a little about myself and what I was looking for in contacting him. I can't begin to remember what all I said to him but over the next 35 minutes we talked on the phone. He immediately "saw" things in what I was saying that he could work on and wanted to have me send him all our medical records and set up a phone interview. I was so excited. I felt like finally someone was going to be able to help...to give me answers! I set up the appointment and got to work on getting my medical records sent to him.

Now, this interview was not going to be free. After discussing it, Craig and I agreed we would go forward with the interview and pay the fee simply because we wanted to see what he had to say and if he thought he could help us.

So the interview took place....an hour and thirty minutes!!! How many doctors do you know who spend that much time with a patient?! Granted I did pay out of pocket...no insurance co-pay here...but still!!! I was impressed. He had reviewed our medical records and was prepared and ready to discuss what he thought he could do. He had me again walk him through our fertility journey that had brought us to this point, he asked me a million questions about myself and my health. Questions that no one has every asked and that after answering them made me think...."why has no one ever asked that before". I was beyond impressed and just giddy with excitement.

At the conclusion of the interview he told me, yes, I can help you! PTL...whoohoo (i didn't yell that...just internalized it). He was going to come up with a plan for us and would be in touch. Well fast forward to the plan....holy expensive. Granted, not as expensive as some of the fertility treatments we did in the past but still, money we did not have. We stepped out on faith and purchased some supplements he had recommended we start on right away, some for both Craig and I. The "big" ticket item was going to be this personalized "tea" that is a combination of herbs that are cooked in their purest form by a pharmacist, placed in vacuum sealed pouches and I was to take 2x a day. I was told it could be anywhere from $300 - $600 a month. Yikes!!! We didn't have that kind of money! Sure we had filed for our trade name but had not yet started our fundraising efforts.

I began to pray that the Lord would make it affordable for us if it was His will that we continue with the tea portion of the doctors plan for us. I didn't want to move forward just because I was excited and hopeful. I really wanted to feel like it was HIS will for us. Dr. Zoll told me to call the pharmacy on a particular date and time, speak to his contact, and they would give me a number based on my personalized prescription tea. The pharmacy is in New York, NY and run by a licensed pharmacist and Chinese medicine pharmacist (not sure that is the proper name for his title...). He told me that if the price they gave me was just way too much and out the question that he could call his contact and see what they could do about it. I prayed as I waited for the day I was to call.

Prior to my calling for the price of my tea, I received a blessing in the mail and an answer to prayer. It was such an amazing gift and it's true value wouldn't even be seen until later. A check and a note - a selfless gift given out of love. Craig and I were truly humbled by this gift. My sister and brother-in-law, feeling led to help Craig and I, in faith sent us a check. How they came up with the amount to send is only of the Lord. We can not thank them enough for the gift they gave.

Fast forward now to the date and time I am to call for my "price" on the tea. I make the call, anticipating the worst (which is strange for me since I am usually such an optimist) and I get the price for my tea. When I said earlier that the true value of the gift we received would not be realized until later....well that moment they gave me the price was the exact moment I realized the true value of that gift. And when I say it was of the Lord...truly the Lord's prompting in what amount they felt led to send...well it's the truth. You see, the money my sister and brother-in-law sent covered the price of the tea and shipping and I had 5 cents left over!!! How amazing is that?!!!

With the Lord providing, I gave the go ahead for them to "cook" my tea and send it to me! Our journey was about to begin with Chinese medicine and herbal tea...I was so excited. I was also just beyond amazed at how awesome our Lord is in providing exactly what was needed. Not sure if that little miracle was just to remind me that He is always in control or if it was his way of saying...this is your time, I'm going to make this work for you now. I like to think it was all of the above, I guess we will just have to be patient and see though.

I told my mom the story of the Lord providing the money. She was just as excited as I was. Now mind you I did not tell her how much the gift was, how much the tea was, nothing. Just the story of the Lord providing. After we got off the phone, she called me back awhile later. She wanted me to know she had called to tell my dad the story and that he told her he had been setting money aside for Craig and I too. She told me the amount they were going to be sending me that week....want to know how much it was? Well the number is not important, except that again the Lord was providing for the next month of tea (if its needed...since you never know if it will only take one month). As I think of all that He has done for me, this children's Sunday school song keeps ringing in my head: Our God is so Great, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing our God cannot do!

Free fundraising thermometer

Our Hearts Desire

"And all things whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." Matthew 21:22

It's official. The Wilder Fertility Fund has been filed with the State of Florida and we are officially raising money for fertility treatments. Yes, that thermometer shows we have a LONG way to go. The $20,000 mark is in anticipation of two rounds of IVF. There may be alternative treatments we can peruse along the way that may be less expensive, such as Chinese medicine alternatives with acupuncture. At this point we are moving forward with the plan to attempt IVF when we have raised enough. The Lord may open another door before then. This is all in HIS hands.

Just to clarify too for those of you new to Craig and my plan for this fund, all monies raised and/or donated are going into a NON interest bearing account in the name of Wilder Fertility Fund. Those monies will be strictly monitored and accounted for. If you should feel led to donate to our journey, please know that you will be added to a list and will receive quarterly updates on our status and a record will be kept of your donation. The reason we are so adamant about doing this is that if for some reason we find ourselves unable to continue on this journey, we want to have an accounting of the funds so that the monies can all be returned to the person who donated and returned from the Fund. The quarterly accounting of funds raised will be included in a newsletter from Craig and I. All donations will be kept private, we will only list a total of what has been raised to date or for that quarter.

Well that's just a quick update. I'm excited to get to brainstorming on fundraisers. I have one in the words that I got from a friend. I can't wait to share it with you!

Wilder Fertility Fund

Well, it is official. Craig and I have ventured out and started our "fund" to raise money for alternative options in achieving pregnancy. I say alternative options instead of simply IVF (in vitro fertilization) because there are many things we may be able to do to achieve pregnancy and ultimately a child of our own without having to go the route of IVF. We are prepared at this point to do whatever it takes to achieve a child of our own and starting the Wilder Fertility Fund is our first step.

IVF ranges in costs but will more than likely be in the range of $11,000 to $14,000 per cycle. Wow is right!

Other options we may be able to try along the way are acupuncture treatments (pricey but often effective and not nearly the cost of IVF), or using a health/lifestyle coach to work with me individually for six months to attempt holistic measures (again pricey but no where near IVF costs).

Our journey begins and we hope that if the Lord leads you to contribute to our journey, you will. Be assured that any funds contributed to our journey will be accounted for in a specific account in the name of Wilder Fertility Fund and used solely for fertility treatments. If you feel led to and do contribute, you will be added to our newsletter list and will receive a quarterly newsletter giving you an update on our journey and an accounting of funds!