So I'm all about reading blogs these days. I have a few that I DO NOT MISS but the list keeps getting bigger and bigger. I never really think about anyone reading mine because in my mind that isn't what I use it for. I use it kind of as a way to vent...get my thoughts OUT of my head in the hopes that I will stop dwelling on them. Pity party for one in my head is not fun. But I'm so bad about updating it!!! I think all of two people read it anyway but I still enjoy just getting my thoughts out. I started the blog to keep friends and family up to date on our fertility process but I think it kind of morphed into something else...what I'm not sure yet.

Anyway...I still want to use it for what it originated for so here are some current stats on where we stand:

1) The tea is over for now. I gave it a shot for three months and I just can't do it anymore. I think it messed with my balance anyway. Yes it helped some things with my cycle...not to be too graphic but it did improve the "quality" of my menses, helped with cramps, shortened the duration of my period BUT I was crazy on it. Seriously...I didn't even recognize myself. I was feeling very crazy...too emotional...almost borderline irrational about things and I couldn't get over it. Well, once the tea was done, miraculously a month later I feel completely back to normal...like someone flipped the crazy switch off or something. I like feeling normal again!

2) I'm still working on eating healthier and have started really working on my fruit/veggie intake. I'm even taking supreme greens supplements....love them! I'm still training with my triathlon team (more to come on that though) and just trying to get some more sleep. I think all these things can only help me in the baby making process.

3) No plans for any treatments any time soon. I've been praying about it and we just are not in a financial position to go into EVEN MORE debt at this time. I just don't feel it would be prudent right now. I would LOVE to be able to afford to start IVF, but unless that money tree I planted starts growing or I win the lottery (need to start playing) then its not an option right now. Which leads me to something I read on a blog I stumbled across today. Here is a direct quote from her blog entry:

"Time means something with infertility — both in the physical sense of success rates and the emotional sense of peace of heart. What is worth more — being mindful of time but spending more than you can afford, or sacrificing some time in order to make fertility treatments affordable?" (read here)

Wow...now that is something to ponder!!! I had already been working on this blog entry when I read that. It made me really FEEL my 32 years and think...am I wasting my eggs by waiting? Is there going to ever be a "right" time financially (probably not)? Ugh...this whole infertility stuff sucks!

So.....I got a part time job as a server. My life is going to be crazy! 40 hour full time job for my attorney....part time server (20 hours a week)...wife....friend....running....biking....swimming...wait...didn't I say earlier that I was going to be getting more sleep?

I feel like I need to make some sacrifices NOW so that maybe I can shoot to be in a position to work on number 3 above. Obviously the hubs and I still work on TTC the old fashion way, and I still pray that the Lord blesses us that way. But if that isn't the plan, and we need to move to IVF, well this chick needs some more $$$$!

The Wilder Fertility Fund is still around and accepting donations but I'm just not pushing things with it right now. Everyone is struggling these days so I'm not out begging people to fund my fertility treatments. If someone feels led to give, awesome. We are appreciative and so humbled by the generosity, but I'm not ready to go stand in front of Publix with a sign saying, "Please help fund my IVF"....yet. =)